Los Angeles actor/writer, Tim Coyne, goes into the closet to figure out what kind of man he is. Running time 46:12
- GOODBYE – CURIOUS
- CHEAP – CECIL SEASKULL
- GET OVER YRSELF – THE OXYGEN PONIES
- I WON’T LET YOU DOWN – MULALLY
- APART – FREDDY LITWINIUK
Unkempt #21 – IN THE CLOSET – PT. 2
Written on June 15, 2007
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well done. for the record, do you really believe romance means saving or spoiling?
regardless, you do know how to be a good friend. good podcast – always so thoughtful – even when it makes me wonder what the f* you could possibly be thinking. i suppose that’s the point…
Tim. This one was dynamite. By far the best episode you have ever done. Ever.
As a man I have to agree with you when it comes to dating and the “friend or lover”-thing. It’s very true. “Friendly, friendly, friendly or sex-machine, sex-machine, sex-machine.” Crazy world, that’s what it is. And yes, poor and cheap is not the same thing. I’m with you on splitting the bill….
nice. very nice. I agree with daniel, it’s your best to date. Wondering if you ever heard any old Jean Sheperd radio episodes? He show played on WOR AM in New York. When I was a kid I would stay up way past my bedtime, radio under my pillow, and listen to his stories which were always funny but tellingly poignant. Like you, he wrote a screenplay and his movie “A Christmas Story” is now revered as a classic. Dude, hope the same happens to you.
oops, It’s spelled Shepherd
Oh man! Does dating have to be so hard? Friendship often blossoms into so much more so keep root canal as your friend and who knows…..
lBoogie – i definitely think that is what Root Canal meant. Without the feeding and fucking I ended up in the friendzone. bottom line, i think i was too tentative. i should have been “the man.”
Daniel – Hey buddy! The best I’ve ever done? Wow!!! Thanks. It really is tough to be seen as a sexual/romantic guy AND a friend.
Abbe – Best to date? That blows me away. I’ve of course heard of Jean Shepherd but I’ve never heard his stuff. Your “Christmas Story” anecdote inspires me. It really does. Maybe I’ll track down some old Shepherd shows.
Gail – Does dating have to be so hard? Probably not. You’re right. Maybe we can stay friends and something will blossom. On the other hand, she might listen to the show and think I’m a complete lunatic. Thanks Gail.
Hey… I loved this story!! And, as always, I loved the way you tell it. I found my wife of 10 years when I had actually stopped looking. So, don’t stress, you’re gonna find the right girl. And now that I know you’re trying to come up with a pilot, feel free to use the title that I used to describe you’re podcast on my website. “Reality TC”. Just thought I’d throw it out there.
Take care!!
Hi Ray. Thanks so much. You do have a way with catchy slogans/tag-lines. Reality TC. I love it. Lance loved what you said so much about him that it headlines his website. Anyway. Thanks for the encouragement. Much appreciated.
Tim
hollywood –
good show. definitely some poignant stuff hearing you trying to figure out the right balance between sexy bad boy and good friend. never an easy one to strike, esp. once you’ve made yourself vulnerable. i’ve no doubt you’ll figure it out and find that lucky lady. and keep in mind, root canals are a dime a dozen. it’s the one who’s able to see beyond where you are right now, sees your actions in their best light and is a friend AND a lover that’ll be the keeper…
sincerely the best to you
-t
Hi Tim,
Don’t listen to Ross. When you described RC getting all snitty and offended when you suggested hanging out with her while she played human traffic cone, I immediately thought “Dump her! This chick takes herself WAY too seriously.” Picking up prescriptions and rides to the airport at the crack of dawn are SERIOUSLY romantic. Trust me on this. This girl is waiting for her life to turn into a romantic comedy. Maybe you should hook her up with Steve Guttenberg. She doesn’t deserve you.
“Well, maybe not”. Laughed out loud at that.
Good luck with the TV pilot. You’ve got plenty of material ready to be mined
Oh, and I listened to Jean Shephard as a kid too. 4th grade, my first AM transistor radio, 10PM, tuned into WOR out of NYC. (I am SO showing my age here) Great stuff. Excelsior! If you can find recordings, let me know. I don’t think there are any though. He wrote “Wanda Hickey’s Night of Golden Memories, and Other Disasters”, “A Fistful of Fig Newtons”, and “In God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash”. He also is the narrator for “A Christmas Story”. Believe me it is a compliment to be compared to Jean Shephard.
Thanks for the show!
Beth – I love it! That is the greatest line – “The girl is waiting for her life to turn into a romantic comedy.” Awesome!
You really know your Shepherd. I’m going to see if I can find some recordings.
Thanks Beth!
Tim – Thanks man. Sexy bad boy/friend. It ain’t easy. I’ll figure it out. Thanks for the support. Much appreciated.
Tim
Hi Tim,
Great story. Great shows! Can’t wait to hear you tell us about the part in that movie. Congratulations! Keep up the great work.
To all Jean Shepherd fans and to the merely curious, check out:
http://www.archive.org/download/brassfiglageerss.xml_1/brassfiglageerss.xml
for iTunes users:
http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=129951381&s=143441
and the blog:
http://shepcast.blogspot.com/
A daily dose of Jean Shepherd.
I am no way associated with this podcast; I am just a grateful listener who discovered this yesterday.
Thanks so much Mau. Trying to figure out the best way to talk about the movie. Hope to do that soon.
Tim
Awesome, Awesome, Awesome! Dude, I hate to be an enabler to your unique way of life, but it sure makes for great stories. Stay on the scooter! Walk that monkish path of material abstinence. Sure you could ditch it and get a car and mold yourself into the knight in shining armor Root Canal is looking for but then your stories would be everybody elses…and boring! Stay the course. You are on to something here and it’s happening for you.
Oh yeah, and don’t forget your credit card at the bar…:)
Yo, T.Coy (or whatever “gay” DJ nickname you want to label yourself with…)
This was the best one yet. Great story, great build up and wonderful use of music. Glad I’m no longer dating, I would always be in the friendzone, even though, yes, I proudly can claim the um, netherpumping call-to-arms. Ha!
Break a leg on the pilot idea!
No question Tim, great show. She’s the loser on this one because scooter or not you’re a great guy. Sincere, got your own thing going on and a bright future ahead of you what with new parts in films all the time, etc. You keep that Roshi man thing going strong now and keep believing. Just because it sounds like she tried you on like a sweater in a store and then discarded you doesn’t mean you’re not Da Man. We all know you are, champ, so keep up the good work and we’ll all be listening!!
Norcal Steve – Thanks man. Funny you mention all that stuff. I often think about how awful it would be if I got a car. I mean, it would be great but how would it effect my stories etc.? I have a feeling it would be like those rock stars that thought they couldn’t create without the drugs and then discovered that they totally could. No need to worry about it for now I guess. Also, funny re: the credit card. That totally didn’t occur to me at the end of the show when I slid my credit card to the El Carmen bartender.
Jonathan – You crack me up. That’s the greatest phrase ever – “Netherpumping Call-To-Arms”.
Thanks for the support.
Brian – I’m “Da Man”? Awesome. Thanks so much for the kind words Brian. Very much appreciated.
Hey Tim, just a quick note to say that the music from Freddy (last song on the show) was fantastic. I’m checkin out his other tracks. Is this music you research for the show or have been listening to on your own? There’s a podcast called Tracks up the Tree which I think showcases great indie music but they haven’t put a show out since March so you could be my new source for cool music.
Hey Mau. Yeah. I’m starting to have a lot of fun finding music for my Unkempt stuff. I spend some time cruising around Podshow and GarageBand. I also just randomly discover stuff. For example, there’s a web show called PROM QUEEN that my friends do and they played a Mullally track at the end of an episode that I immediately loved. The rest is history. A couple of the other tunes are by a friend of mine named Cecil who performed in my last show. Its a lot of fun though. I also found some stuff through http://www.salon.com They post free tracks of new and cool stuff. If I like it then I contact the artist. I’ll check out “Tracks Up The Tree”.
First, I immediately went to iTunes and bought Apart. Awesome song.
Second, you continue to raise the bar in quality podcasts. Many try to imitate or capture what you do, but they fail! Keep up the awesome work.
OK Tim. Maybe not “Da Man” since she didn’t seem to be buying what you were selling her. And to lboogie’s point it is kind of tough to figure out what the *hell* you were thinking here. At the same time you’re college educated, young, handsome and straghtforward so the potential to soon be “Da Man” is certainly there as all your listeners well know from your past podcasts, at least. Also, as others already pointed out, this chick desperately needs to be taken down a few notches and LA is certainly the place for that to happen. My advice? Give her a call in a couple of weeks and see how discriminating she is then.
Grant – Yeah. Isn’t that a great tune? Catchy stuff and well produced. Thanks so much for the support!
Brian – Agreed. Not quite “Da Man” but I’ve got potential. Thanks Brian.
Hey Tcoy….lol I have a question. so after all this, what would be worst, actually having a root canal or not being with root canal. Man you come up with the funniest names. “Makin out with root canal….in the Nissan Murano.” yaaaa baby!!! ok so what do you mean guys arent born being “Handy”, yes they are maaaan! it doesnt need to be learned. If her closet broke then fit it! you lift up the shelf, you unscrew, screw, get your hammer or screw driver, you twist, turn or pound away, you clean up and put your tools away, its in you maaan!
well I hope you learned your lesson now. oh and I’d like to see pics of your closet. why no salt with the margarita, your drinking a margarita, go all the way, salt tastes good mmmm….Congrats again on “crossing over” bro……oh and next time OPEN THE DOOR on the first date, its not a big deal. any shows coming up? talk to you soon!
Kalel, that was awesome!
Yo Kalel – I hear you brotha. I think I may start opening doors. Peeps are pretty unanimous about the door thing.
Tim
Man, I forgot how difficult dating in America is. (better: didn’t know it was this difficult) Maybe you could have solved it by not helping with the closet, maybe that was too much of a friend-thing to do…
But now I know why this one nice girl I met at a club in NJ never called back (I was a male au-pair), I came there with friends (so she had to drive me home after we had ‘parked’ out side her parents house for a while). And my rasta hair was made of extensions (which I told her). Anyhow, now I know.
Btw, weirdest thing. Your rhythm, speed and voice is really great to listen to. So I picked up Panic by Jeff Abott yesterday which starts with a chapter about a guy waking up with the girlfriend missing out of bed. Totally had your voice reading it to me…
Have you ever thought about doing audio books for another income?
Hey Sab.
Haven’t really considered the audio book thing but I would do it in a second.
Weird. The “Voiceover” community is very tough one to crack into. Maybe I should at least throw together a demo and try to get an agent. It is tricky and to be honest, I don’t think my voice is that great. BUT, I appreciate the compliment.
And YES, dating is difficult but always fun in a dark and twisted way.
Rasta Extensions? Nice!
Tim